Random Thoughts Because I'm up Early

Last night my dream included a man named "Fiji." Either I'm growing weirder by the day or my subconscious wants to go there.

I loved the smile Matthias gave me during the night when I handed him the bottle he had cried out for someone to re-fill.

Jackson and I bought "Smurfberries" from a candy store, and they have been one of the highlights of my week.

At least in Montana, winter seems to now be doing its thing. I think it needs to realize it missed its chance.

A couple days ago, Jackson asked me if he had a "crabby wife." Perhaps I need to reconsider my attitude. And talk to his father.

Happiness Is -- The I Forgot to be Happy in February So I'm Doing it Now Edition

• Listening to toddlers learn new words
• Seeing bigger kids finally understand a tough concept in school
• Speedy checkout lines in the grocery store
• Compliments
• Hearing a really good joke
• New make-up
• A good fart (Seriously. Sometimes they're so necessary.)
• Singing in the shower
• Dancing
• Fleece

My Problem, You Ask?

Thirty is old. That's my problem. I won't be convinced otherwise.

I'm getting gray hair.

*whimper*

It's not being 30 that bothers me, but this gray hair is something else. I sort of think I could maybe accept it if I self-medicate with enough Milk Duds, but I'm just not sure. See, my mop of hair has always been straight, and the gray hair taking over my noggin is curly. Curly!

I'm pretty sure I'll be the Bride of Frankenstein in two years.

And now I'm going to find the nearest candy aisle and go make camp there.

We Signed up for This

When I was in college, a sweet roommate of mine taught me an incredibly valuable lesson. I remember I was having a difficult time of some sort (everything seems to be a tragedy when you're in your early twenties), and in a moment of frustration, I yelled out in our apartment one day, "I never signed up for this!"

"Sure you did," she smiled at me.

It was one of those beautiful moments where my big mouth didn't have a thing to say; I knew she was right.

I've been thinking about her a lot this last month. We're presently in a rather uncomfortable unemployment situation for my husband (a story best avoided online), and I'm once again in the ranks of writers begging to write for $1 per 10,000-word story. I've been a little distracted lately, which is part of why this blog is again faltering.

After my husband left for another interview this morning, I found myself coping with a baby who's trying to steal the "Mayhem" title from that Allstate or Geico commercial, nasty colds that have taken over the house for the fourth time this winter, and more than a little anger when Mr. Mayhem dropped a can of corn on my pinky toe and I almost peed myself because of how badly it stung.

I started thinking again that this was not what I signed up for, and my roommate's words came back to mind. I exhaled, and 10 years later have been reminded again that she's still right. I became an adult, a wife and a mother, and sometimes, unemployment, Mayhem babies, colds, too much laundry, and lots of struggles are just part of the deal.

"It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The 'hard' is what makes it great."
~Tom Hanks, A League of Their Own

Is that how it's done?

This morning, Jackson told me he'd drawn a picture of the two of us "making love," and it actually caused me to choke on my breakfast.

I learned a lesson on perspective when I saw that the drawing was just of the two of us taking a walk and holding hands while hearts floated over our heads.

Toddler in a Small Pond

I'm convinced that children are cute in public because they never know when they've pushed too far at home and will need alternate living arrangements.

Today, Matthias learned that pencils will, indeed, write under water. He tried it in our toilet. My husband wondered why he caught the baby with a wet pencil this afternoon, but never pursued the answer to his question very seriously.

Turns out, we need a little more seriousness when it comes to answering questions regarding Mr. Matthias. He'd been upstairs alone for a few minutes today and we really should have remembered that "quiet" + "children" never equals anything pretty.

So, our toilet bowl is scratched. These toilets haven't gotten so much love from us since we moved in to this apartment. Baking soda, Clorox, CLR. Our ocean Picasso ain't coming all the way off, people.

Make room, Grandma and Grandpa. This little angel you keep cooing to me about is coming over.

I Confess

Sometimes, my husband and I sleep on top of our covers at night because we're too lazy to make the bed in the morning.

Yesterday, I marched past our new neighbors wearing a hoodie, my striped pajama pants, polka dot socks, and husband's Crocs. My hair had also not been combed from after my nap. I figure, if you're going to make a first impression you might as well go all out.

I'm completely afraid of public coat racks. I may love you, but the last thing I want is your coat touching mine.

I think breakfast is awful.

Lately, I can't make a decent cookie. Too hard, too soft. Goldilocks should try the pastries at my house.