Happy New Year

This post is dripping with mommy-ness, but about this time last year, my husband and I were oh-so-hopeful that a string of tired days and tummyaches meant something great for us.

I tried to stay up for New Year's Eve, but I was a pitiful failure.

On January 2, 2010, we finally found out that three years of trying to get pregnant was over. We finally were.

Happy New Year, Baby Matthias.

I didn't realize just how much over-communicating you have to do as a parent

Some of the things I've caught myself saying this week:

"Please go change your clothes. Yes, all your clothes. Yes, change your socks, underwear, shirt and pants. Yes, you have to change your underwear."

"Please go take a bath. Use soap. Yes, you have to scrub there."

"Go brush your teeth. Use your toothbrush and toothpaste."

Because sometimes I need reassurance like that

"I need to clean up that spill in the pantry. I'd hate to get a mouse in here."

"Sure."

"You don't think we'll get a mouse in here, do you?"

"Nah."

"I'm going to vacuum things up right now."

"Okay."

"Really. Are we going to get a mouse? I mean, that spill only happened recently."

"No. Nowhere, anywhere in town is there one mouse. We're fine."

Happy Holidays!

The husband and I are taking the kids to see family for the holidays. Merry Christmas!

(And here's hoping I don't break my back sledding.)

I Got Nothing

Truly, I don't.

I figured at this point in Round 2 of my breastfeeding career, my girls would look pretty Pamela Anderson-ish. In reality, they're basically in the same sorry, deflated state they were pre-pregnancy.

So here's my cry for help. Little Matthias is hungry, and I'm pretty cheap and would really love to stop buying formula. Has anyone gone through milk supply issues before when nursing and managed to fix the problem? (And I know the buying formula thing is part of the problem, but when I'm only managing to pump two ounces a day, I figure a little supplementing is going to be in order while I sort things out.)

I'm off to catch the baby. He's on the living room floor tooting up a storm and I'm afraid he'll fly into the wall. Send me dairy-like thoughts and prayers!

On Prayers and People

Jackson has said some pretty cute prayers over the last few weeks. When he learned how to whistle, he started whistling during his prayers and would add, "And I want to show Jesus I can whistle." (I hope God finds prayers funny--because I sort of laughed during that one.)

Last night, during the dinner prayer he was giving, Jackson stopped to sample a bite of food before continuing with what he wanted to say. I'm hoping the part he ate had already been blessed and that he wasn't checking to see if it needed extra blessings.

He's also very interested in how many people we have as friends, in our family, in church, you name it. "Do we have four people in our house," he questioned yesterday. "We sure do," I replied. He thought about that for a minute and continued, "Is Matthias people?"

Dear Jackson: You and Matthias are some of the best kinds of people.

They Just Don't Know What They're Missing

I forced Jackson to sit down and watch "Bedknobs and Broomsticks" with me today. It's part of my continued quest to show him that so much of what's on TV today is just stupid. As usual, he figured I didn't have a clue. Also as usual, he's now giggling every few minutes as he enjoys the show.

Me: 5,678 Jackson: A few less

What are some of your favorite old movies? I'm determined to keep this up.

Working

Working.
Definite benefits.

Working with two deadlines looming?
And a snowed-in five-year-old? =
Stress erupting on my face like some pimply-faced teenager.

The fix?
Chocolate.

The problem?
Baby doesn't like chocolate-flavored breastmilk.
Poor, poor gassy, pukey baby.

The other problem?
Weight-gaining mommy.

The fix?
More chocolate.

Back to the baby problem.

And the weight problem.

It might be time to quit work.

Why I Love my Five-Year-Old

We caught Jackson with my breast pump today.

Sucked to his cheek.

I was wondering the same thing

Jackson, to the neighbor lady who walked outside (in a Montana winter) wearing a tank top and no coat this morning:

"What are you DOING?!"

Today

A double-post day. Here's to things I hope will make me laugh some day.

We're having a largely homemade Christmas this year. You know, that whole economy thing kind of sapped us of our budget (and greatly enhanced my fear of mailboxes and what bills might be lurking in them). If I never use a bottle of Mod Podge with Jackson again, it might be too soon. What do people like about that stuff? And how do you get it off carpet?

Our neighbor stopped by twice today: once in the morning to see if we had an egg we could spare and once in the afternoon to give us a cupcake. I was in my pajamas and bra-less both times.

I told my son he couldn't have a Rice Crispy treat today. Then I went to another room and had one myself. Yup. And I'm not sorry.

I need a Baby Whisperer. One who can tell my baby sleep is normal.

Our home would be so much cleaner if we didn't live here.

Happiness Is--December Edition

• The fact that nursing really has (this time) helped me shed a few pounds
• Laundry fresh out of the dryer
• Making perfectly ridiculous noises at a baby in hopes of getting a smile back
• Being ready for Christmas early
• A few extra dollars in the checking account
• Sleeping in
• Time to read a good book
• Debt reduction
• Baby chatter
• A clean house (no matter how briefly)

My Job

I had a moment last night.

You know, one of those moments.

The kind where I was sitting in the tub crying my mommy eyes out because we'd had a tough weekend with Jackson filled with back-talk to me, filled with not being able to get him to sit still and listen to us for more than 30 consecutive seconds, and filled with a baby wailing his little head off every time I served up the wrong flavor of breast milk.

I cried for a good hour. By the end, my poor husband, who was sitting on the floor next to the bathtub, had a look on his face that said he was trying to decide whether to find a good therapist or take the children to work at the bank with him today just for safekeeping.

"How you doing?" he asked, giving me a hug this morning.

"I'm okay," I said.

"Really?"

"If you're asking whether the children will still be here when you get home, I'm not going to get rid of them."

A little rest--albeit interrupted for a 3 a.m. feeding--had done wonders. I'm ready to tackle this mommy job again today. As I've been completing some writing assignments this morning, I've had a baby on my lap looking up and flashing me grins, like he's trying to let me know when I've constructed a pretty good sentence. Jackson is sleeping in, and I'm letting him, hoping that a little extra rest will help his attitude, too.

I felt awful for not exactly relishing motherhood yesterday. But I've decided something: that's okay. Lunch Lady Extraordinaire and Chief Cleaner-Upper and Binkie Replacer Supreme aren't exactly glamorous job titles. It's okay to have human moments.

I think the important thing is that we not feel guilty about getting a little rest and trying again the next day. Consistency is what mommyhood is about.

And those little smiles sent up from your lap are pretty awesome. I hope my boys still flash me smiles when they're grown up.

Bright Ideas

Homemade Christmas presents seemed like a good idea until it came time to actually make them.

And homemade Christmas cards seemed like a great way to economize until it came time to let Jackson wield the glue stick.

But I'm learning that there are only so many ideas I should be allowed to have when I'm nursing round-the-clock to try replenishing an all-but-gone milk supply for my warthog baby. Who says I can't handle stress? (And thank you, La Leche League, for the great tips. It's helping.)

Flashbacks

I took Jackson sledding at my parents' house today.

Two things: the spot where I've wiped out for the last 29 years is still there.

And the worst part of sledding is still that long walk back up the hill.

I Became a Housewife Today

I know I've technically been a wife for seven years, but today I know I really became a housewife.

See, my husband hooked up my new washer and dryer today.

I honestly sat on the floor of my laundry room, grinning like an idiot for 10 minutes while I watched the maiden load tumbling and tumbling (both machines have glass doors).

Then I made the kids watch with me.